Pranks with proverbs

Proverbs usually convey truism with which we’re already familiar. Yet, with a dash of imagination and a little innovation, they lend easily themselves to witty extensions, jocular refinements or even a twist in the tail, thus making them quite entertaining.
We seldom use an adage without embellishing it with an addendum, funny or otherwise. It’s a legacy from my English teacher in school who encouraged us to be creative with axioms. Over the years these enriched saying have created ripples of amusement at parties and get-together besides serving as icebreakers. Here are few of them-
Wedlock is a padlock-one of the keys to divorce.
It takes two to tango-and three to create an eternal triangle.
Variety is the spice of life-ask any monogamous male.
Marriages are made in heaven- and unmade on earth.
Familiarity breeds contempt- usually after marriage.
Too many cooks spoil the broth- but spped up the meal.
When the wine is in, the wit is out- and also some zealously guarded secrets.
To wit, no man can serve two masters- unless both are generous paymasters.
When there is a will there is a way- especially if it is the boss’s will.
Nothing is impossible- so long as you don’t have to do it yourself.
Barking dogs seldom bites others-you being an exception.
A bird in hand is worth two in the bushes- provided it’s not a homing pigeon.
Birds of a feather flock togather- especially when they have a common grouse.
Travel broadens the mind- and lightens the purse.
You are never old to learn- something stupid.
Time is a great heeler- and a great speedester.
Empty vessels make the most sound-and are promptly heared.
Honesty is the best policy- where others are concerned.
Necessity is the mother of invention-when you need a watertight alibi.
Hell hath no fury like a women scorned- or a teenager denied a mobile phone.
Necessity knows no law-especially when you are chased by a rabid dog.
Opportunity never knocks twice-but temptation bangs on the door repeatedly.
Seeing is believing-especially when you catch your girlfriend with your best friend.
Old habits die hard- when it comes to eavesdropping on your neighbour’s tiffs.
All good things come to an end- while bad things seldom seem to end.
What goes up must come down- the exception being the spiralling prices.
Silence is golden-especially when you are holding forth.
A rolling stone gathers no moss- but it gets to see places.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery- especially if you are being aped.
Indeed, any proverb- no matter how trite- can be made to sparkle with a suitable suffix. Besides driving home the point forcefully, it provides a crisp ending laced with a light hearted touch- in fact, the snappier the ending, the better the impact of the proverb. So spread hilarity by injecting funny insights into your sayings. All it takes is practice, and practice makes perfect -and entertaining –proverbs!